i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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