Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
only you would photoshop your dick
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
