the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I need a beard to bite.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
