Pappa wants mamma naked
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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