How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
