You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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