Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
