Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
