I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
