Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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