This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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