I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
