1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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