Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
How's work?
Spinning.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
