That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just had sex on a roof
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
