why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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