He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
