I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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