he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
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I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
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BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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