That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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