Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I want to be your penis for a week.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
pray to the hookup gods
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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