she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
