my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
