So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
