Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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