Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
