but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
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God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
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My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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