Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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