Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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