just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
