Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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