My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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