You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
The adults are the big ones right?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
