Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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