No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
