please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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