Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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