I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
