Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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