Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
