It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
