He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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