I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
