i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
