I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
