Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
