I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
worst night to have a conscience
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize
