He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
