hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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