you win again, gameday.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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