i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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