shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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