He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
