I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
