Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
