K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
