Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
