I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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