she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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