In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
