i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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