So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
