I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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