i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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